I Remember Decemeber
by najeebah
Summary: ONESHOT. The roaring flames burn just like his desire and almost identical to his rage. Betrayed, and alone he remembers one month's heartcrushing days. Harry likes Hermione but fic is RHR mentions of ex HG


**_I want to hear what you have to say about me_**

You stare outside the smoggy glass window. The snow is raining down harder than before, you expect a blizzard. You swiftly turned around and walked towards the burning fire. You grabbed a couple of rough logs and tossed them into the orange flames. You are at a house you yearned to call 'home' but this was not home, it was the Burrow. Your eyes drag themselves from the fire place and towards the only other two people amongst you whispering quietly to one another.

You are curious, and so you bluntly decide to eavesdrop-- completely ignoring the consequence of such a crime.

"I couldn't believe him," the red-headed young woman gossiped.

"What do you mean? What happened Gin'? Harry won't talk to anyone about it," the one who you called your best friend asked while trying to sneak a glance at you.

You immediately divert your eyes somewhere else silently praying that she had not seen you. The conversation had left you intrigued, curious, and greedy to hear more.

"He told me we couldn't be together," Ginny stated in less of a heartbroken manner and more of an angry tone, "He said he was in love with someone else."

You can't believe your ears. How dare she! What had happened a few nights ago was only between the both of you. You realize your foolishness just then.

"What?" Hermione exclaimed in a voice not too quiet to be classified as a whisper causing the red-head to look your way.

Your eyes are not focused on them anymore, but into the fire. Still, you hear all they say.

"Ssh! He'll hear you," Ginny warned.

"Sorry," The bushy-haired one replied.

"Anyways," Ginny said waving her hand, "He said he was in love with someone else. I asked him who…"

"And!" Hermione asked in a manner that reminds you of how she acts in a class when the answer to a question is at the tip of her tongue.

"Well, I shouldn't really tell you but I will anyway! He said he had feelings for you but please act like you don't know." Ginny betrayed you.

You remember the minute she swore to secrecy of the woman of his heart. You are angry but your face shows nothing but fascination with the blazing fire. Yes, you are fascinated by it, wondering if the flames would match the red-head while she burned in it.

"What!" Hermione gasped.

The fire's warmth starts to gain on you and you feel yourself sweating. She had no right!

"Yeah my thoughts exactly."

"Ginny, I, I don't feel the same." She said.

And so goes the story of your broken heart.

**_Hear if you're going to live without me_**

You were lying on the dirty wet grass under that same old tree beside that same old lake lost in those same old thoughts. Your mind still replaying the rejection you had both received and not received at all. Would it have been better if you had told her your feelings? Or could that have been worse?

She is near again but not speaking to you. No instead talking to your other best friend, Ron. You knew now why she rejected you. You knew now why you never told her your feelings before. Yes, yes, right there only a few feet a way were the two hearts destined to be together. You knew their love was written in the stars, but you had dreamt differently.

It never hurt to dream. Well, it didn't used to.

"Ron," She admits, "I'm scared of what's coming."

He placed his hands on her waist hesitantly, "Yea'" He said, "So am I, but we'll get through it together. You're not alone Hermione." He said.

You are shocked, you had never seen Ron show such condolence and sensitivity. Then again, you never knew your bushy-haired _friend_ would break your heart either. Unlike all the other girls she had never fallen for your title 'the boy who…'.

She walked into his arms which by now have slithered up underneath her arms to hold her. You are jealous. You don't deny that and won't try. You are happy for them but disappointed simultaneously. You stopped eavesdropping now and gazed upon the icy lake instead. It is cold and silly to be sitting by a lake during the winter but the view is soothing, not only to you.

Suddenly you heard your name and went back to your old ways. You never learn do you?

"Ron what happens if he kills Harry. The prophecy said only one can live." She worries.

For a moment you are touched. She cares about you—

"Then we'll mourn, and together, you and me, we'll survive."

"Well, that I know." She said

You stopped breathing for a moment.

"I was wondering what would happen if Voldemort kills Harry- what will he do to us?"

Your hands dug into the sand as the dirt creeped beneath your finger nails. You couldn't care less. You grabbed a rock and stood up. You gazed upon this icy lake and pulled back your hand ready to throw the rock as far and hard as you could hoping to break the ice as she had just broken your heart _again._

**_I want to hear what you want_**

It was just you and her tonight, in that library you loathed at the school you loved. The castle had never felt so big to him before and the silence was deafening. The only thing breaking it was the occasional harsh page turns. You cannot stand the way she is treating you. She has started to grow suspicious of you, you are sure of that. You are quieter than before, you have separated yourself from everyone around you.

You think she knows that you know about her knowing about your emotions for her.

"Harry," She sighed frustrated with the lack of conversation.

"Yes?"

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing," You said in an expressionless voice.

"That can't be true. You haven't said a word all evening."

"That's cause I'm trying to defeat Voldemort and I can't very well do that gossiping about others or talking about other unnecessary subjects."

"Harry," She said.

"What Hermione?" You snapped, "What do you want?"

"The truth." She admitted.

You knew she was referring to what Ginny had told her. Would you tell her now? Was it even important anymore? She didn't love you back, nothing you can do about it now.

"About?" You asked.

"Your feelings."

"What do you want me to tell you Hermione? That I've developed feelings for you since fifth year? Or maybe that I heard you and Ginny talking about me and was pleased to have been rejected behind my back than to my face- which probably saved me from a embarrassing myself in front of you. Then again, I've just embarrassed myself now haven't I? Is this what you wanted to hear, Hermione?" You ask as rage built up in your chest.

"Yes." She silently said then hid behind a book again.

You sighed and wandered off to another part of this useless library to cool yourself down.

**_I Remember December_**

You stand, years older, not old enough to sprout silver hair. You are young but not young enough to be as naïve as you once were. You are staring outside that same smoggy window you were once staring out of before. A blizzard was coming again and the same only other two people who were once in that room with you before breaking your heart were there again. Whispering again.

You looked towards them and their faces diverted to meet yours.

Another member of the Weasley clan wandered in, Ron. You watched as he grabbed his fiancé and kissed her. You looked away while Ginny watched you. Your eyes met hers for a minute. You shivered for a moment and then tossed a few logs into the fire to keep it going.

You tossed in your heart to keep the fire burning. Your heart had a flaming desire that kept growing and growing but you were determined to make it stop. The room was growing warm again but inside you were cold. Colder than the blizzard that stormed around the house you've come to call hell instead of home.


End file.
